Freedom Expression

Kanyadan & Pregnancy Connection

Posted in India, Women Issues by Tall Guy on May 28, 2010

Recently I met a friend of mine who told me of an incident which made me wonder about the mentality of the so called Indian society that we live in.  She told me about her cousin who recently got married.

The highlight of the wedding was the “kanyadan” which is normally done by the bride’s father/uncle/brother was done by her sister even though they had a cousin brother who could do it.  Apparently the murmurs began in the wedding itself and someone even called up the bride’s native place to tell about it.  The marriage though took place without any hitch.  However this was not the end.

After 3-4 months of marriage, people started inquiring with her mother-in-law whether the girl has got pregnant yet.  In fact the girl was also asked about it which made her wonder why such a question is being asked when only a few months had passed after marriage.  It later turned out that the reason why this was being asked was because the sister who did the “kanyadan” did not conceive for a long period of time and had adopted a child instead.  So the logic that went around was that the bride who got married may not be able to conceive as the kanyadan was done by sister who did not conceive.

The good news did come through as few months passed by putting a lid on all the talk that was going around.  It also came as a relief to the sister who was worried that she might end up getting a bad name in case the bride did not conceive.

To me, all this looks like straight out of a telly plot where such things were shown but never thought that they actually happen in the reality.  So what if the sister and brother-in-law did the kanyadan?  Who the hell are people to tell them what’s right and what’s wrong.  It’s a family decision on who does the kanyadan and other people don’t need to poke their nose into it regarding themselves as guardians of our culture.

I guess they need to be given a lesson in how cultures evolve and how each generation creates their own and leave it upon the future generations whether to follow or give it up.  Nobody has the “right” to enforce it on anyone.

The reasoning behind the bride won’t be able to conceive was simply irrational.  How can people be so dumb? And that the news spreads like fire even though there is no ounce of truth to support the claim is really shocking.  What surprises me more is that this did not happen in any rural village but in a metro city.

It almost comes like a farce where we keep talking about “21st century India” and we still look like living in “Old India” which is too rigid to give up its social conventions and does not gives an individual the choice of what he/she wants to do…..


5 Responses

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  1. Indian Spicy Blog Posts said, on May 29, 2010 at 11:48

    […] : The Survivor What : Kanyadan & Pregnancy Connection Spicy : A short by relevant post bu ‘The Survivor’. Does it matter in the new age […]

  2. Jyothi said, on May 30, 2010 at 14:41

    A very relevant question! What is the connection? Sadly its mostly women who are judged and talked about in this manner. And the saddest part is, its the women who spread such rumours too.

    • The Survivor said, on June 3, 2010 at 11:40

      Welcome to the Freedom Blog

      Very true!!

  3. Indian Homemaker said, on September 28, 2011 at 16:12

    Some people have no sense of personal space and individual rights, and if they are convinced that life must continue exactly how it did in their ancestors’ times, then it must. All the interference, nosiness and rumours are a result of their confidence in this belief.

  4. pozycjonowanie stron www said, on February 24, 2012 at 08:25

    Hello.This article was really fascinating, especially because I was looking for thoughts on this issue last Saturday.

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